My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby
Scientist: *sees a spider with long legs*
Scientist: I think I’ll call it daddy…… Daddy long legs
I’d say that’s a hell of a spoopy crack in my pumpkin.
UPDATE: A KID JUST CAME BY AND POINTED AT THE PUMPKIN SAYING “PWISONOH ZEWO HAS ESCAPED PWISONOH ZEWO HAS ESCAPED” AND I GAVE HIM LIKE 25 PACKETS OF M&MS
We’re the celebrities and they’re the fangirls.
•go to the bathroom to escape
•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch
•dwell on a small awkward moment for much longer than necessary
•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable
•follow said person way too much
•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious
•faking an illness to get out of a social event
•Don’t buy something necessary because the cashier is intimidating.
reblog and see what your followers say
I’VE LITERALLY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE
I was just reblogging for the above post I didn’t think I’d get any
I won’t get any but I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing
PLEASE, DO IT
last time was fun
Doubt I’ll get any tbh 😂
Probably won’t get any but whatever.
my friends cat had surgery and now he has no pants
oh my gOD
I think I just heard my heart break.
my new favorite pickup line is “so gay marriage is legal in north carolina now”
reblog if ur a fuckin piece of shit